No Bad Parts Of You

"I'm still learning to love the parts of myself that no one claps for." - Rudy Francisco

There are no bad parts of you. Let's read that again...there are no bad parts of you.

We all have challenging flashpoints in our personal history from which spring myriad ways of coping. These coping mechanisms give life to different aspects of our personality that linger and emerge from time to time even once the initial challenge has passed. I often feel this acutely.

I think perhaps we have all had a situation which spurs in us a feeling of "I'm not good enough" or "I'm not worthy." From this initial challenge source, we may develop a way to make up for this perceived lack. Perhaps you lean into perfectionism or overachieving or people pleasing - always seeking to be flawless so that no one can ever say that you aren't enough ever again. Or perhaps you tend towards humor or being the class clown because if you are laughing then at least you won't be crying. These ways of dealing with the situation emerged to protect us and to guide us through as best they could at the time they were initially needed. The tricky part comes when the challenge has passed but those parts of us linger and they become annoyances that we label as bad or unacceptable or we deny their existence entirely.

But there is so much to be learned, to be celebrated, and to be healed by listening to these parts of us that have a story to tell. The same part of you that you see as flawed has likely also given life to a paired aspect that is likely one of your greatest strengths. Perfectionism walks hand in hand with self-awareness and discipline and a lively sense of humor teaches us to find a silver lining of laughter in all things. All parts of us were made with the very best intention - they were made to be of service, they were made to help us deal, they were made to hold us and carry us through hard times. These are a part of us whether we want them to be or not.

So perhaps the question isn't how do we get rid of them...but rather how do we listen closely and offer them the support they need? How do we say "thank you" for trying your best to help me in the best way that you know and then how do we help these pieces transform, mature, and evolve in healthy tandem with our own personal growth?

There are no bad parts of you.