Faith Over Fear

“When you come out of a storm you won't be the same person that walked in. That's what the storm is all about." - Haruki Murakami

Full transparency? I have been on the ropes lately. And I've been really afraid.

As some of you already know, I had a rather substantial surgery a couple of weeks ago (all is well and will be even better in the future). I wish I could say that I've been handling everything more gracefully. I wish I could say that I've been the epitome of patience and trust - that through it all I've been radiant and resilient and calm and centered.

But the truth is that the overwhelming feeling I've been encompassed in is fear.

Deep into my bones completely enveloped in fear.

Fear that something will go wrong...or that something is going wrong...or that I'm doing something that will make things start to go wrong...or that I'm doing too much...or that I'm not doing enough...or that things are healing or not healing and so on and so on and so on.

It's some seriously twisted thinking and some seriously toxic feeling and...it's also just the honest-to-goodness truth.

But (thank goodness for silver linings!) watching myself completely spiral (let's not sugarcoat it) has been so revealing in so many fascinating ways - like the blast of a spotlight on blind spots in my growth that I have been papering over or skirting around or just flat out ignoring. What an incredible blessing it is to finally open your eyes to the whole picture of yourself, messy and marvelous as it may be.

So I've gotten clear on some seriously good, deep, and really hard work to do. And that is such a nourishing gift.

And for right now? I'll leave you with some remembrances that bring me comfort in the hope that maybe they could do the same for you in times you might need...

Remember how far you've come. Remember the obstacles you've overcome. Remember the battles you've faced and won. Remember the times you felt you couldn't keep going and then found the courage to take the next step forward.

You can do this - whatever fear or doubt or challenge it is that you are facing - you are strong enough. You always have been.

"Take a deep breath. You will be fine. Where you are meant to be, you will be in time." - Morgan Harper Nichols

Communication Sets You Free

“What if an advanced yoga practice wasn't measured by fancy poses but instead by the ability to have difficult and uncomfortable conversations." - Lisa Fierer

Communication sets us free. It releases us from the cage of uncertainty that keeps us trapped in a limbo space of not knowing...and the fear of what knowing might bring. But many of us (myself included) often opt to avoid the difficult conversations because we are afraid of what we might learn. What if we ask the question and the answer is no? What if we speak our hearts and are rejected? What if we take the leap and our words fall short?

But...what if we never ask? I'd hate to think of any of us living a life with our hearts shackled by unsaid words or unasked questions. I'd hate for any of us to make ourselves small and unsure. I'd hate for us to waste hour upon precious hour over-analyzing or trying to figure out what someone is thinking or worrying endlessly that we may have to hear something we don't want to hear. What a waste of your beautiful heart and what a waste of this one beautiful life.

So yes...we may not hear the words we always want to hear. We may get hurt and we may have to confront our fears. But the hard things so often lead to the good things. And I think this is the yoga practice that matters.

So ask the question. Say the words you've been keeping in. Set your heart free.

Your Magical Powers

"Of course words are magic. That's why they call it spelling." - Brian Holguin

I have always loved words. They can be so beautiful - dripping off the tongue like warm honey into tea - and they can be so terrible - sharpened daggers slicing to places within us that live far deeper than bone. Words can coax our spirits into sunlight - startling flocks of belly butterflies into tumbling flight - and they can just as easily shut us into muddy darkness - syllables spoken into brick and stone built to protect aching hearts.

With this kind of profound influence in our lives, I can't help but think that words are indeed individualized spells that we send out into the world. And I suppose that makes us all innately and abundantly magical - casters of hundreds of spells each and every single day.

I'm always so amazed - and more than a little bit afraid - of how carelessly we throw around our words. We forget that they are each small but potent spells that we are lobbing out into the word as grenades of hope, love, pain, or fear - like any tossed missile, they will find a place to land either in the hearts of others or in our own.

So be careful with your magical powers - when speaking to yourself and when speaking to others...because you are more powerful than you could possibly know and your words matter more than you may think.

Revolve To Evolve

evolve (verb) /ēˈvälv/ to develop gradually by a process of growth and change

I was asked the other day what started me on a path of personal transformation and intentional growth in my life. I immediately thought of the heartbreaking, eye-opening, ground shaking, firework-sized, explosive moments of my life where change wasn't an option...it was a necessity. But as I sat with the question, the edges around my thoughts started to soften.

As vital as those explosive moments were to catalyze expansion in my life, they are not happening in my life every single day (thank goodness). Rather, it is the day-to-day micro-steps of practiced mindfulness that lead to genuine personal transformation.

So I landed on a thought: transformation is a practice. We evolve around what we revolve around. How we choose to center our thoughts and what we choose to revolve our practices around gives us daily, incremental, miniature boosts of momentum - consistent adaptability and sustainable change. Personal transformation is built not in the few big choices we will face in life but in trillions of little ones.

So what are you choosing to revolve your daily practices around?

Authenticity And Intuition

...Authenticity and intuition walk hand in hand...

We live in a pretty noisy world – a constant din of voices telling us the way we should act, the way we should look, the way we should measure our success, the way we should should should do anything and everything. How do we find our authentic selves when we are buried under the weight of everyone else’s opinions and ideas? It’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

There are many ways you can define intuition – a gut feeling, a hunch, a knowing without conscious reasoning – and all of them are probably accurate and true. Whatever the definition and however you personally access your intuition doesn’t really matter as long as it works for you.

Intuition is often a whisper, not a shout. Intuition will not yell or scream or force you to listen. Rather, it is a gentle breeze tickling against your skin asking to be felt and heard. The important thing is getting quiet enough to hear it and still enough to feel it…

Accessing your intuition is a gateway to accessing your authenticity. So tune in. What is your intuition trying to tell you today?

Your Ripple

“Speak to people in a way that if they died the next day, you'd be satisfied with the last thing you said to them.” - Anonymous

You matter. The way you speak matters. The way you act matters. The way you think matters. The way you live your life matters.

We are all part of an intricate and often unseen ecosystem that links us all together like a fine lace. Each of us holds a delicate string that, when pulled, cannot help but impact the fabric around us. A tug on a thread shifts the latticework surrounding it and, when yanked firmly enough, it can alter the shape of the entire garment. In this same way your individual thread is constantly giving little plucks on the web around you.

We may never know the full scope of the profound ripple effect that we truly have in this world...so we might as well try our best from the beginning to make sure it's a good one!

Walk lightly. Love gently. Think kindly. Act gracefully. Forgive quickly. Smile broadly. And speak to people (yourself included) in a way that if they died the next day, you'd be satisfied with the last thing you said to them.

Exclamation Points

"Live your life as an exclamation rather than an explanation.” - Isaac Newton

I will always remember the night I saw the northern lights.

I had traveled to the far north in Finnish Lapland, beyond the arctic circle to the village of Hetta to visit a dear friend who was working on a dog-sledding farm for the season. I'd been there for several days, helping to care for the huskies, cherishing the cuddles and messy paws and the cacophony of excited barking, but it had been cloudy and a bit rainy so I had yet to catch the colors dancing in the sky at night. On my last night, we were sitting inside after dinner when all of the sudden the dogs went quiet and then began to howl together. We stepped outside to listen just as the sky began to clear...and the light show began. We walked over to sit with the dogs, their chorus of howls a soundtrack to the dancing skies above...

There are special moments like this that punctuate our lives - exclamation points that fill our hearts with wonder and joy.

And...not every day needs to be an exclamation point for it to be special.

I believe that the soft and sweet moments found in our day-to-day rituals can, in their own way, bring the same wonder and joy if we are willing to pause and look for it.

Unburdening

…how long have you been carrying this load…

A psychology professor walked around on a stage while teaching stress management principles to an auditorium filled with students. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the typical “glass half empty or glass half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face, the professor asked, “How heavy is this glass of water I’m holding?” Students shouted out answers ranging from eight ounces to a couple of pounds. She replied, “From my perspective, the absolute weight of this glass doesn’t matter. It all depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute or two, it’s fairly light. If I hold it for an hour straight, its weight might make my arm ache a little. If I hold it for a day straight, my arm will likely cramp up and feel completely numb and paralyzed, forcing me to drop the glass to the floor. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it feels to me.” As the class shook their heads in agreement, she continued, “Your stresses and worries in life are very much like this glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and you begin to ache a little. Think about them all day long, and you will feel completely numb and paralyzed – incapable of doing anything else until you drop them.”

Put down the load you are carrying.

Give each item a moment to be heard and seen and felt and healed and released.

Set your burdens free and you set yourself free.

You don't need to stagger under the weight any longer.

Doing Hard Things

"These things will be hard to do, but you can do hard things." - Glennon Doyle

I woke up early last Saturday and decided to do something I knew would be hard - the skyline traverse here in Boulder. It's a doozy of an undertaking (for me at least) to hike/run/crawl from summit to summit from Sanitas to Flagstaff to Green Mountain to Bear Peak and finishing up atop South Boulder Peak all in one massive morning! And I have to tell you...I thought it was really freaking hard. AND it was sooooo worth it.

We don't climb mountains because it's easy. We climb mountains because there is beauty in the challenge - courage built with each new step on quavering legs, integrity learned with every ragged breath, humility instilled with each false summit, and self-worth found in each glance back at just how far we have come...we don't climb mountains because it's easy. We climb mountains because we never know how strong we are until we are tested - we never know what we are capable of unless we try.

We can do hard things AND it can be fun, beneficial, and beautiful to do hard things. I can't help but think that life would be pretty darned boring if everything always came on a silver platter. What would there be to learn and how would we ever grow?

So today I'm grateful for the hard things in my life because goodness knows they are the things that contribute exponentially to the expansion of my soul. Life will sometimes be hard, but we can do hard things.

Married To Amazement

“When Death Comes” by Mary Oliver

When it's over, I want to say all my life

I was a bride married to amazement.

I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

When it's over, I don't want to wonder

if I have made of my life something particular. and real.

I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened.

or full of argument.

I don't want to end up simply having visited this world.

Just a sweet reminder today to live life like you mean it - to not just be an observer but to be an active and enthusiastic participant in this one beautiful life you have been given.

Three Gates

"Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates: Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?" - Rumi

Thank goodness for gates! They give us the chance to pause the momentum of our thoughts before they become our words and deeds - providing precious moments to consciously choose to unlatch and move forward on our current path of action or to leave the gate gently closed and divert our course to one that is more beneficial to all.

Taking the necessary time to navigate these gates of speech (and action) may feel cumbersome, slow, or awkward, but the short breaths of silence taken to pause the velocity of our of lives in order to measure the weight of our words can make all of the difference in how lightly we tread in this world and in how lovingly we care for the hearts of those we touch.

At the first gate ask yourself, “Are these words true? Are my actions honest?” If so, carry along; if not, back you go.

At the second gate, ask, “Are these words necessary? Are my actions beneficial and needed?” Our words may be factually true, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that they need to be spoken. This gives us the time to decide if they actually serve some meaningful purpose. Do they clarify a situation? Do they help someone? Or in their utterance do they cause undue discordance or pain?

Should you make it through the first two gates, at the third gate ask yourself, “Are these words and actions rooted in an intention of kindness?” At some point in all of our lives we have felt the deep and lasting wound that unkind words can create. And I also hope that we have all felt the glow that kindness in word and action can bring. It is wholly one thing for words to be true, another for them to be necessary, and yet another for them to be kind…but to be genuinely impactful in their communication it is so potently beautiful if they are all three.

So perhaps in at least one conversation or correspondence today try using the three gates and see how this shifts your personal experience of the communication AND how well others receive your communication.

Growth Is Not Linear

"Growth is not linear. Growth is messy. It is becoming and unbecoming. It is blossoming and retreating." - Nicole Vivian

Humans are such beautiful messes of miracles - each of us an impossibly unique swirling galaxy of stars and dust and mineral and earth all intricately expressed as skin and bone and smiles and tears. We are made of ocean - ebbing and flowing. We are made of sky - quickly blossoming into clouds and just as swiftly vanishing into mist. We are made of earth - blooming, falling, hibernating, and patiently waiting for the next cycle of spring. We are living and breathing vibration and light in constant motion made of spirals and cycles, of mountain peaks and peaceful valleys, of raging rivers and of still ponds.

We are not made of the linear...so why would we expect our growth to be?

So today lets celebrate the beautiful, messy, fiery, and constantly transforming human-shaped constellations that we all are.

Take a moment to reflect, appreciate, and cherish just how rare and precious you are...and then (if you feel called to do so) jot down a few thoughts to these sweet questions:

Reflect on your past year. What is one way you have seen yourself grow?

Looking ahead, what is one way you would like to grow in these next few months?

Cherishing the time we are given in this moment, what is one small step you can take towards your growth today?

Your One Wild And Precious Life

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver

I want to wake every morning tickled into the day by the whisper of sunlight on my skin.

I want to drink in the taste of warm pine baked in the hearth of summer air and I want to soften my heart with the exfoliating grit of boots on threadbare trails.

I want to feel the heavy ache of tulips sleeping under spring snow and I want to sing along to the din of stormy arias shouted by crashing waves.

I want to tremble with the purr of buzzing bees nestled in foxglove bells and I want to kiss the glow of autumn leaves tumbling to rest at dusk.

I want to explode into bloom, balmy in the spiced perfume of lilac and cinnamon and vanilla and cayenne.

I want to fade into the glow of laughing flashlights under childhood chins and throb with the aubergine-bruised purples of shooting star skies.

I want to gnash my teeth into the succulent honey of this one wild and precious life and I want to bathe in the deafening firework of the ordinary as it trembles on newborn legs into the spotlight...suddenly plump and dripping with the extraordinary.

Well, friends...tomorrow is my birthday and I feel a little bit of everything about that - some excited, some reflective, some glittering, and some joyful. But mostly I feel grateful. I don't know how or why I got so lucky to have the gift of this community in my life, but I do know how thankful I am for it and I hope I tell you enough - I hope you feel every single day how cherished and valued and appreciated you are because YOU ARE. Thank you for being in my life...you have no idea how much it means to me. Love you.

"Do not ask your children to strive for extraordinary lives.

Such striving may seem admirable but it is the way of foolishness.

Help them instead to find the wonder and the marvel of an ordinary life.

Show them the joy of tasting tomatoes, apples and pears.

Show them how to cry when pets and people die.

Show them the infinite pleasure in the touch of a hand.

And make the ordinary come alive for them.

The extraordinary will take care of itself. - William Martin

Laugh Language

“Laughter is the language of the soul” - Pablo Neruda

There are few things that heal the soul more than a true, deep, make your abs ache and your cheeks sore, belly laugh! It is a universal connector - a language which all people speak and a feeling that all people know. It's the eternal firefly - a glowing light switch lingering somewhere mysterious inside each of us that when turned on transforms darkness into fireworks and heaviness into feather pillows. And I don't think I do it enough...and I wonder if any of us do it enough...

Each year on my birthday (eek, so soon!) I love to take a sliver of time to marinate on my experience of the past year and pick out a word or two as a beacon of guidance for the year ahead. This year the primary word that has been bubbling its way into view is, “laughter”. I think there is play to be found in each day and a twinkle of amusement fizzing just under the surface of even the most seemingly mundane task - and I'm committed to seeking it out often and enthusiastically!

“Laughter is the shortest distance between two people” - Victor Borges

A Lucky Sack of Stars

"Dance until your bones clatter. What a prize you are. What a lucky sack of stars." - Gabrielle Calvocoressi

It's such a strange thing how we so easily we get tangled up in the weeds of the day-to-day and forget to look for the flowers. This past week reminded me of how deeply precious and rare a life is. Each soul weaving its own intricate lace into the shared fabric of this world - a pattern of curves and swirls and knots unlike anything that has been seen before and unlike anything that will be seen again. And it's so beautiful. And it's so fleeting.

You are one heck of a work of art stitched and sewn into this gorgeous YOU over millions upon millions of years. I hope you feel that today...and I hope you maybe even celebrate that today. Love you.

Everybody Falls In Yoga

"Daring is saying, 'I know I will eventually fail and I'm still all in.'" - Brené Brown

Everybody falls in yoga. Truly. I have never in my life met a single yoga practitioner who has never fallen out of a shape. So please believe me when I say that no one cares if you fall out of a pose but everyone cares that you try to come back in!

The trick with falling out is letting the stumble serve a purpose rather than feeding into a sense of shame or unworthiness - allowing your mistakes (on and off the mat) to become a launching pad for learning and growth. If we never tasted failure we would have no barometer for success and if everything always went perfectly we would never have the chance to grow.

What a mundane life it would be if there were no bumps in the road.

Our mistakes make our triumphs so much more special and meaningful because they come from a place of bravery - of being tenacious enough to pick ourselves back up and being daring enough to try again with the new knowledge we have gained from the slip.

So I hope every once in a while you fall out so that you have the chance to cultivate the courage to rise again. Love you.

Cheer The Loudest

"Like Every Selfie" by David Gate

Be kind about the names

Your friends give to their children

Praise their haircuts

Love their tattoos

It doesn't really matter

If that's what you would do

Like every selfie

All of them

Clap their songs

Cheer them on

You were born with a limitless

Supply of encouragements

Use every one of them

Don't wait for the eulogies

To speak out loud

That your friends are precious

And they make you feel proud

People are so incredibly precious - each person a rare miracle made of thousands upon thousands of years of stars refined into flesh and bone - impossibly unique swirling galaxies of supernovas and black holes expressed as emotion and thought.

What a wonder you are.

What a wonder we all are.

So let's delight in each other as we would jump for joy at the lucky sight of a shooting star. Let's cherish each other as we would gasp in awe at the dance of the northern lights.

People are so incredibly precious - let's celebrate this loudly and lovingly.

Keep Going

"Be loving and be strong. Be fierce and be kind. And don't give in and don't give up." - Maya Angelou

I hope you keep going.

I hope you keep going when things feel dark. I hope you keep going with tenacity and that you tap into your fierceness. I hope you keep going with so much kindness and that you match it with just as much strength and courage. And I really really really hope that you keep going because you matter to this world in more ways than you could ever possibly know.

I love you. You've got this.

Sea Glass

Sea Glass by Bernadette Noll ​

I want to age like sea glass.

Smoothed by tides,

but not broken.

I want my hard edges to soften.

I want to ride the waves

and go with the flow.

I want to catch a wave

and let it carry me

to where I belong.

I want to be picked up

and held gently

by those who delight

in my well earned patina

and appreciate the changes

I went through to achieve that beauty.

I want to enjoy the journey

and always remember

that if you give the ocean

something breakable

it will turn it into

something beautiful.

I want to age like sea glass.

Beautiful words to wish you a beautiful week ahead. I cherish this poem - it always brings me back to the person I'd like to be. I hope you loved reading it and I hope you know how deeply loved you are.

The Weather Within

...so, how's the weather inside you today?

You are a rare, dynamic, and delicate ecosystem inside of which each moment brings its own weather. The wild expanse of beautiful and rugged terrain within you is exposed to shifting clouds of emotion that can bring all four seasons in one day.

There are the cool and crisp bluebird sky mornings where your thoughts are sharply etched mountain ridges and your body moves with the grace of a pine-scented breeze.

There are serene and spectacular tropical sunsets tickling white sand where every inch of you is bathed and glowing mai tai orange from the inside out.

There are rainforests and redwoods, pillows of moss and butterflies in kaleidoscopes hues, tulip fields as vast as oceans, and the twinkle of snow sparkling under a midnight sky.

There are also afternoons shrouded in steely grey skies where each anxious thought is a misty molecule forming a fog so thick its icy fingers reach all the way to your bones.

There are swaths of parched earth, vast lawns of grasses yellowed with thirst, winds whipping waves into peaks of black water, and rain clouds swollen and heavy with unwept tears.

And it's all beautiful and terrible and savage and sweet.

And it will change.

And it will pass.

And there will be times where you will need to weather the storm.

But there will also be times where you can help the weather along.

You can move your body to breath in a gentle wind to coax away the fog, you can ground in seated stillness to calm turbulent seas, and you can write in quiet contemplation to resow the fields in your heart that have gone barren.

So, how's the weather inside you today?