Three Gates

"Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates: Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?" - Rumi

Thank goodness for gates! They give us the chance to pause the momentum of our thoughts before they become our words and deeds - providing precious moments to consciously choose to unlatch and move forward on our current path of action or to leave the gate gently closed and divert our course to one that is more beneficial to all.

Taking the necessary time to navigate these gates of speech (and action) may feel cumbersome, slow, or awkward, but the short breaths of silence taken to pause the velocity of our of lives in order to measure the weight of our words can make all of the difference in how lightly we tread in this world and in how lovingly we care for the hearts of those we touch.

At the first gate ask yourself, “Are these words true? Are my actions honest?” If so, carry along; if not, back you go.

At the second gate, ask, “Are these words necessary? Are my actions beneficial and needed?” Our words may be factually true, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that they need to be spoken. This gives us the time to decide if they actually serve some meaningful purpose. Do they clarify a situation? Do they help someone? Or in their utterance do they cause undue discordance or pain?

Should you make it through the first two gates, at the third gate ask yourself, “Are these words and actions rooted in an intention of kindness?” At some point in all of our lives we have felt the deep and lasting wound that unkind words can create. And I also hope that we have all felt the glow that kindness in word and action can bring. It is wholly one thing for words to be true, another for them to be necessary, and yet another for them to be kind…but to be genuinely impactful in their communication it is so potently beautiful if they are all three.

So perhaps in at least one conversation or correspondence today try using the three gates and see how this shifts your personal experience of the communication AND how well others receive your communication.